Sunny Angel Survivor Ambassador - Survivor of Child sexual abuse, Grooming, Rape, Honour Abuse, Forced Marriage, Modern Slavery, Author of Wings. www.sunny-angel.com
I was born and raised in the UK. I was brought up in Surrey and went to a Church of England School. I was the only Asian Girl. I have 2 Brothers, I am the middle child and only girl. My family are supposedly strict Indian Hindus from the Warrior caste (not that it means much to me – but a lot to them). Dad was born in present day Pakistan and was a refugee in the partition, he came to England in the 60’s age 20.
He came to make money and sent it back ‘home’ to his family in India. He had an arranged marriage with Mum and married her within in a week – they were complete strangers. Mum was from a little village, Dad from a big city. Mum couldn’t speak English when she arrived to the UK, she had no family or friends. Dad continued his bachelor life of drinking, gambling, pubs and girlfriends. Mum accepted it as the norm and was used as just an object and a ‘baby making machine which cooks and cleans too’.
When us kids arrived, we witnessed a lot of domestic abuse and martial rape towards my mother. I tried to stop my dad on many occasions. I couldn’t understand why my dad prays and yet his actions where so despicable. I was treated differently for being a ‘girl’ my self-worth and self-esteem was stripped down very low. I was sadly sexually abused by a family friend at the young age of 3-11.
My parents did not stop it from happening. They continued to stay in touch with the family and had the abuser over for every family birthday and event. I tried to commit suicide at age 8. At 17 I went to college. I was stalked for a year by a 40-year-old Pakistani Muslim man, he later stopped me in the street when I was 18 and threatened me. He said he would harm my family if I didn’t comply. I was scared and naïve. He then groomed me at 18 and held me captive and raped and tortured me, he made me commit crimes...
My parents did not help me due to the banner of ‘honour/izzat’. When I finally escaped my parents sent me to India where I had to undergo an exorcism and further honour abuse as my punishment for being raped. After India I went to a homeless shelter where I took an overdose to end the pain as I didn’t want the forced marriage.
I survived more horrendous abuse and I was forced into the marriage as further punishment to get rid of the burden I was to my parents. All I needed was love and compassion ..not further fear and control. Family should be there to protect you, not hurt you. Abuse is not Love...
I am now a happy single mum, a Reiki Grandmaster and Author of Wings. I have written my story of what happened 20 years ago – so others may learn from my experiences and not suffer in silence, like I did.
love and light – Sunny x
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